boy know new catsuitslatex

Band takes a Step in the right direction They say that you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear but I'm afraid you can. Every time I have my picture taken, from above and blasted by light, I contradict that theory. The camera tells hideous lies - and why not? Those Hollywood starlets in bygone days had the right idea. A photograph, unlike a blemish or excess weight, lasts for ever and imperfections needn't be immortalised.
The squeaky clean (well, ex-squeaky clean) pop group Steps have finally cottoned on to my way of thinking. Their latest video is a glistening stiletto step in the right direction. Created by the genius duo New Renaissance, who made those exotic Powergen adverts you see after the news, it has transformed Steps from dull to dangerous - latex tops with a massive dose of excess glamour, trailer loads of maquillage and the kind of lighting that I live for.
Lee, who sings and prances with the group, is revealed to be something of a stud. I am shocked to discover that he has been hiding such a strapping physique. New Renaissance have defrocked him and have him writhing inside a huge metal dome, while the girls are dressed in the style of R&B queen Missy Elliot - in latex catsuits and brandishing whips. Quite what their nubile audience will think of the transformation remains to be seen but, in my opinion, it will do them the world of good.
Missy's all Hyped-up Talking of genius, I hear that American video director Hype Williams has been drafted in as art director for fashion designer Julian MacDonald's next show. Quite how Julian has managed this I don't know, because Culture Club wanted Hype to direct a video and the starting price was GBP 2million. For those who don't know, Hype is the man responsible for the videos featuring the aforementioned Missy Elliot and TLC.
I also hear that Missy will be modelling in the show and I'm gutted because I have to fly off to Asia for a tour before the big day. Believe it or not, Missy was told by record company bods that she was too large to be a pop star - they were wrong as she now outsells Julio Iglesias.
In a recent interview, she quipped: "I could have gone to the gym but I love cup cakes." She is a girl after my own jam tart. Anyway, I'll have to make do with the video of the show but if it's anything like last year's, it will be very exciting.
Believe the Hype.
Mix and match fashion My involvement with Fashion Week, aside from being the antithesis of it, is preparing the music for the Evisu show. Evisu makes those jeans that look as if they sport the McDonald's logo. Models for the show include Goldie, Tamara Beckwith and rock singer Amanda Ghost, who will be catwalking to a jungle version of Karma Chameleon. Only joking!
The music can only be described as barking - a punk version of our national anthem was specially shipped over from Japan to be thrown into the mix. The Japanese could never be described as emotionally expressive but they like their fashion and music well quirky. Suits me fine because I am just a geisha girl trapped in a sumo's body.
Must go, I'm off to promote homosexuality!